“All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.” John 6:37
Early Childhood
Being born and raised in a devout Roman Catholic family I was made aware very early in life that indeed there is a God in heaven who is supreme. As a child I was required to memorize the Ten Commandments as part of my religious instruction and even at that tender age I remember experiencing guilt for having violated the ones that I understood. One of my fondest childhood memories is of listening to Bible stories about Jesus in catechism class. I was unable to reconcile the “Sunday School” Jesus with the image of a lifeless, bleeding Jesus, draped across His mother’s lap, as depicted in the form of one of the many statues in our church. No one from either inside or outside the Roman Catholic Church ever told me that my sins could be forgiven and that I could enter into a personal relationship with God through faith in a risen Lord Jesus Christ.
Hopelessly Lost
In 1976 at the age of 18 I left home to live in the city. The only interest I had in the spiritual was a religious cult which quoted much Scripture but preached adherence to the Ten Commandments and huge tithing as the path to a salvation which would come in the form of some future earthly “Kingdom of God.” Needless to say, this just brought more condemnation as every effort to “obey the Ten Commandments” ended in abject failure even before it began. As far as tithing was concerned my money was reserved for much more important things like booze, parties and women. Over the span of the next six years and in spite of getting married at twenty, my life spiraled further and further down, more and more out of control, into alcoholism, drug abuse and debauchery of every sort.
A Growing Conviction of Sin
In the summer of 1981 God invaded my life, bringing conviction of sin in ever-increasing measure. I began revisiting some of the material I had been reading while interested in the aforementioned pseudo religious cult and was drawn to some of the scripture references sited in it. If I as much as even looked at or walked by a Bible I would literally tremble. Occasionally I would open the book of Revelation and begin reading. I would never get very far as waves of fear would overwhelm me as the scripture revealed in graphic detail what is to come upon the ungodly. I could not escape the reality that I was damned and that the wrath of God described in the book of Revelation was to be my portion.
The “Hound of Heaven”
From about August of 1981 until January of 1982 I found it increasingly more difficult to dull the impending sense of judgment for my sins by stewing my brain in booze and drugs… but I tried.
A Divine Appointment
One day out of the blue I decided to go get some exercise in the form of a morning skate at the local arena. I approached a man I thought I may have met earlier through playing hockey. Although we had never spoken before He used that opportunity to ask me what I believed about God. I told Him I believed in God and I was very apprehensive about the future according to the book of Revelation. I spoke in general terms of God’s coming wrath rather than personal, but agreed to his request to have him come visit me at my home soon to show me a “God’s Plan for the Ages” chart based on the scriptures. During his visit he gave Bibles to my wife and me and shared with us the Gospel of salvation, stressing that I must be willing to repent of my sins and place my faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation. I was fascinated by what he was showing me but did not understand the truth he shared. My wife and I agreed that we sensed something extraordinary about this man. He seemed to glow and possess a peace we certainly did not have but wanted.
A Miracle of Salvation in Nova Scotia
Just days later, as I was alone in our apartment reading my Bible, God struck me down. I may as well have been literally before the judgment bar of God. I was on my knees in the bathroom literally clinging to the side of the bathtub, terrified that at any moment I might drop into the eternal flame. I was terrified to the utter depths of my soul as the Holy Spirit showed me the blackness of my sin and the reality that I was destined to spend eternity in hell. I called the man who had so graciously shared the Gospel with me. The phone rang only once and he picked it up. “Could you come right away?”, I asked… weeping uncontrollably. My friend arrived and went through the Gospel with me several times again. He did not have to convince me I needed Jesus Christ. I wanted God to save me. On January 21st, 1982, I knelt on my kitchen floor with my friend and trusted in Christ and asked Him to save my soul. And He did. My friend had to read to me repeated times about the blood of Christ cleansing away my sin. I kept asking him, “My sins are really forgiven? I won’t be judged for them? I’m really forgiven?” It seemed too good to be true but I sensed a great unshackling in my soul. He reassured me many times of the promise to those who trust in Jesus, “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9)
A Second Miracle of Salvation in Nova Scotia
Upon relating my conversion experience to my wife she was convinced I had gone of the deep end and was headed for a mental breakdown. Soon however, she realized something was definitely up when at midweek instead of going to the tavern I was staying home, reading my Bible and praying. Within about two weeks the Lord revealed to my wife her lost state then saved her as she was listening to “Spiritual Boot Camp” tapes by John Mac Arthur.
The Sovereignty of God in Salvation
As I type out this testimony I can’t help but ponder on the grace, mercy, love and sovereignty of God. He pursued me… He convicted me… He opened my eyes… He granted me the faith to trust Him… He saved and redeemed me. I didn’t decide one day to “accept Christ.” Instead, He clothed me in His righteousness and accepted me. It is ALL of Him. I would never have come to the Lord unless He drew me… all the way… to eternal salvation in Him. Salvation is of the Lord! Let us give Him all the glory!
“At midday, O king, I saw in the way a light from heaven, above the brightness of the sun, shining round about me and them which journeyed with me. And when we were all fallen to the earth, I heard a voice speaking unto me, and saying in the Hebrew tongue, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. And I said, Who art thou, Lord? And he said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest. But rise, and stand upon thy feet: for I have appeared unto thee for this purpose, to make thee a minister and a witness both of these things which thou hast seen, and of those things in the which I will appear unto thee; Delivering thee from the people, and from the Gentiles, unto whom now I send thee, To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me. Whereupon, O king Agrippa, I was not disobedient unto the heavenly vision: But shewed first unto them of Damascus, and at Jerusalem, and throughout all the coasts of Judaea, and then to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, and do works meet for repentance.” (The Apostle Paul, Acts 26:13-20)
Francis A Mac Donald
Nova Scotia, Canada
Lamps Burning Blog 